just {me}

by Travelingmama on March 22, 2010

leaning

Some days I feel lost.  Some days I want nothing more than to sink my feet into the ground, curl up my toes and refuse to move again.  Yes, even us Traveling Mamas sometimes feel the need to be settled.

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And sometimes we feel that need will swallow us whole.  It smacks us in the face… all those things we miss while we are away exploring infinity and beyond… birthday parties, holidays, and even just the normal stuff like soccer teams and dance recitals.

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And in that moment I begin to wonder… what if?  What if we stood still and didn’t go back?  What if we just laid down and rested a little while longer?

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In spite of the big lump crawling up my throat… I know the truth.  I know that I wouldn’t be happy… and neither would he.  Because the truth is that we do miss out on a lot and that is so very, very hard to swallow, but in exchange we get the gift of this wild and crazy life we are living.  The world is there… waiting to be explored and the fascination with seeing it all with my own eyes has yet to subside.

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I sit back and let that reality sink in.  Traveling, seeing the world, and living abroad not only thrills us, but it makes us happy too.  I think of all the places we have been- everywhere from the beaches of the Caribbean to the Great Wall of China to safaris in the Africa wild to the Pyrnanees Mountains and sheep dotted fields of Romania… And I know all over again that this is the life we were meant to live.

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I know it is not for everyone and oftentimes people walk away shaking their heads in disbelief that we do this with three children.  But I kinda like the idea of this Traveling Tribe seeing what comes next for us.

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Just like every other mom- I am fearful too.  I worry that they will get hurt.  I worry that they won’t fit in.  I worry that they won’t learn the language and I worry that they will hate me the rest of their lives for taking them away again… But I have faith.  I believe in God and I believe that He has a plan for our lives and that He is watching out for us.

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And mostly, I believe that they want to be a part of it.  They are excited beyond words.  They know that it won’t be easy and they know the first few months will push us all beyond our comfort zones… but they still want to come along for the ride.

And I really cannot ask for much more!

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{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

Bethany March 23, 2010 at 1:51 pm

Gorgeous photos. They capture your feelings of being torn. And I tell you, the torn feeling is always there – whether you are raising children in one place or not. It’s just the examples that are different… are we doing all we can… will we succeed in raising healthy, thoughtful humans…or will they just be weird! Your tribe will be citizens of the world, that know the world in many of its nooks and crannies. My children will have the knowledge only in their hearts, until they too can experience it. Beautiful either way – no?

afrontierwoman March 23, 2010 at 5:18 pm

Traveling Mama: Just found your post via the Caardvarks challenge. Wow! I love your photos and your adventure. I had been stationary for 33 years and then moved this past August with my husband and teenager cross country from D.C. to Laramie, Wyoming, and it’s been an adjustment…a good one…but now know we could do it again. I wish you the best and admire you and your family and will come back and visit to live vicariously through your posts! Best…

Juliette March 23, 2010 at 8:40 pm

awesome post. so much of my life feels like it’s between worlds, with these worlds spinning, and I am spinning…it’s dizzying sometimes! I’m glad you also have a Heavenly Center =) He is faithful.

Lisa L. March 24, 2010 at 3:46 am

So eloquently put! It’s a gamut of emotions that I’m familiar with – and in the end, I too know that dh and I just wouldn’t be as happy if we decided to give up our nomadic life and “stay” – stay where we have the comfort of family and friends and all things familiar. We sacrifice a lot for this life, but in the end I know it’s worth it. And I agree with Juliette – having that Center is what makes it all possible!

Shannon July 17, 2012 at 5:45 am

Just discovered your blog. Love it! I’m a California girl, but I lived in DK 1991-1992 after high school & have missed it ever since! The people are precious! I’m enjoying reliving it through your blog. Makes me long for it! Praying God will let me visit soon. Lord bless you all!

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